Soap is your friend for life, provided you follow these rules:

⚠️ DO NOT EAT the soap

⚠️ DO NOT RUB EYEBALLS with the soap

⚠️ DO NOT INSERT the soap into any body part

⚠️ DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CLEAN THE INSIDE OF ANYONE'S BODY with the soap

⚠️ DO NOT EMPLOY the soap in PRANKS or HI-JINKS

⚠️ DO NOT PERMIT the soap to MASQUERADE AS FOOD

⚠️ DO NOT PLAY with the soap

⚠️ DO NOT THROW the soap, NOR USE IT TO CAUSE HARM

⚠️ DO NOT LEAVE the soap ON A WET SHINY FLOOR, LEST SOMEONE SLIP ON IT

⚠️ DO NOT PLACE MULTIPLE BARS OF soap AT ONCE IN A BATH AND DISCARD YOUR CLOTHES AND COMMENCE TO SLIDE AROUND ON THEM

🚰 SOAP IN EYES? Rinse with water (plenty)

🚰 SOAP ANYWHERE ELSE IT SHOULDN'T BE? Rinse with water (plenty)

🚑 STILL NOT WELL? GO TO HOSPITAL. UNLIKELY TO BE SOAP BUT BEST TO BE SURE.

⚠️  At the time of writing (20:58) there is still no known fully-tested recreational use for soap.